Musings
by AuroraTenchi
Summary: I've returned in order to gain my muse back. This is based on the story that began to inspire me to get back to the basics. YYxY Yugi POV


First off, before I begin, I must ask that you read my profile before reading this story. A lot has changed since I last thought I was coming back. I feel driven this time to actually stay for a while. So I hope to be welcomed back in order to accomplish something for myself

The last story I published may or may not be completed. I remember I started 'The Broken Road' with absolutely no idea of direction, and it turned out well. … I have a feeling 'Somewhere in a Memory' started out like that too but it's been a long time! I thought I could do it again and I am honestly still at a loss. Please know I am trying to figure something out, but I feel as if I dug myself into a hole of some sort.

Anyway, I suppose I'm doing the same with this, but I'm allowing myself time to create and write this time around. No pressure at all. Critical but respectful reviews will be respected and received. I'm going off the seat of my pants and writing whatever, not filting myself this time. Just writing what I know. Enjoy everyone!

The water sparkles outside my window. I stand perfectly straight, staring out, trying to follow the waves as I ponder the day. The sky is a perfect blue, and the waves my eyes follow are a reflection of the splendid color. My eyes are focused, but my fingers begin to make their way along the fabric of my clothing, as if searching for their way into reality. Have I blinked? Should I sit for a moment? I don't entirely know what kind of blissful abyss my mind has journeyed into, but I am grateful for it. The oceans holds my attention the whole time, as if telling me again that I'm lucky to be alive.

One wave…two waves…three…

Yes, numb me. To count is to forget. But oh to love him is to live. To forget could be to not love him. To forget would be to look past the day we saw Jonouchi in bed, hooked up to the doctor's wires and tubes. To forget how I looked at the eyes of the man I love and see hatred, anger, and an unquenchable desire for revenge. Could I have stopped him then? That was the red flag I should have seen closer. Yet, in that moment I was focused on his eyes, and not my friend who was at death's door. What did I see when I obviously didn't see the difference. That was months ago, which leads me to ponder how different things can influence the tides of life, just like the waves outside the hotel that lap the shores.

Four…five…Six has been lost to the white foamy seas.

The owner of the eyes I had been musing over breaks me out of the hypnotized stupor. He strokes my hair as to remove it from my neck, but he can't. He tries anyway. Even though the strands of hair don't move, he stands behind me and leans in to kiss the side of my neck.

I smile. The window yields sounds from the outdoors. Children are screaming as they approach the sands, and music from the amusement park. A vacation setting if I have ever seen one.

"Aibou?"

I finally find my feet again and turn around to see those eyes, now calm. I suddenly wonder if they were ever calm before. I move my hair to the side for him.

"Mou Hitori No Boku?"

He smiles in return. "Where were you?"

I shrug, not letting my smile go. "Thinking that… We needed this."

"Oh?"

I nod. "Other couples get romantic getaways. Why not us?"

He let's out a short chuckle as he exhales. "Because Kaiba hired us to come here. We are here to fulfill a duty. A vacation requires free will."

"But Other Me, don't you see outside?" I take a step towards the window again. "We're in a brand new amusement park, next to a beach, and we are the first to sleep in this bed! Doesn't that feel freeing enough?"

He moves toward me to kiss my forehead. "Ok then, what do you want to do?"

I grin. "I want to feel like a couple," I say determinedly.

My spirit of a boyfriend looks confused as he sits on the bed. "Aibou, I-"

"You and I both know you're not capable of being with me in the park. A normal date would be able to help me shoot the water at the target and hand me a giant stuffed animal. Or, a normal date would be able to hold my hand if I was scared of the roller coasters." I pause and wink. "Not that I would be."

He bursts out laughing from his spot on the bed. "Nor, I, to be sure, Aibou."

I ignore the impulse to roll my eyes and continue, "But here, right now, we have the views that still remind us of vacation. We can make this our oasis. This room is ours. Order a pizza, lock the door, get under the covers…" I let my voice tail off. It suddenly sounds silly.

My other self sits on the bed looking thoughtful for a moment. Oh those eyes… Why hadn't I looked at them as deeply before as I did the day he told me of his feelings. The night I felt he wanted to leave me. Forever was our word. I suppose in my recently leaving him, it was ripping the band-aid off for the both of us. And now, we have a second chance. What do you do with a second chance? My idea doesn't seem so ridiculous. Even being in America does not warrant an outing every single day. We expressed our fears on the helicopter ride back to the shore way the night we were taken off the island. Now, all we are left with is the sense of peace I have gained from knowing we have a second chance. With his eyes less cloudy, I have a chance to know him afresh. I suddenly want it badly.

He pats the bed beside him. I hesitate to jump on the bed, to overdo my excitemtnt. I sit as he requests.

"As long as we switch places so that I can have my own toppings, it's a deal."

Knowing how serious he is about getting home soon, knowing he is still fighting back the guilt, this is such a relief that I instantly hug him. He laughs and kisses me. Mid-kiss, we are disturbed.

_Crash_

We both look up. Wasn't it only moments ago I looked out at a perfect Florida day over KaibaLand? Thunder and lightning had arrived with a vengeance, as if preparing for Mou Hitori no Boku to say no and force us inside either way. I laugh.

He laughs with me…

Hours later we are on the bed, I in spirit form, he overtaking my body. The puzzle sits on the bed between us next to the pizza.

"I'll never understand why you like such things on your pizza," I say, still laughing from his last statement. "How the heck did you even manage to get out enough to figure out what you like without me knowing?"

He shrugs and changes the channel on the tv again.

/Movie is boring/ he tells me, answering my question. Sneaky. I smirk.

"I have many secrets Aibou," he says nonchalantly. "One of them being that the stove in Dr. Hopkins' trailer is temperamental and Jou had to order on more than one occasion while you were gone."

Such an answer would simply make another person laugh, only to move on to yet another topic, but for me, it's yet another moment to appreciate having him back. I had discovered a list of entertaining, unusual questions to ask your significant other while waiting for dinner to arrive. In between hiding from our friends, asking those questions of each other has been going on for hours. Oh how he makes me laugh… His eyes and his humor. Did I really forget those?

I knew what we just went through was traumatizing and yes, our relationship was already rocky, but was it really so bad that I forgot him in the process? Laughter. One piece to the puzzle of putting it back together.

I laugh and turn my attention away from the TV. "You can turn that off," I say.

He does and we sit in silence while he finishes his meal. I simply watch the rain.

"I saw your memories while you slept," I whisper.

He stops chewing for a moment, then swallows. "Which ones?" he asks.

I look down at the bedsheets. "The ones of your time without me while I was gone."

He suddenly looks ashamed. He removes the pizza box from the bed and lets it hit the floor with a low thump.

"What did you think?" he asks simply.

I look up at him. Yes, what did I think. True, it was wrong of me to use the link in that way, but I knew I had to know… just how self-loathing could he have been to himself? At this point, discussing our emotions and thoughts over the whole incident would be redundant and boring. I had only sought after one other person for input on the situation, hoping not to open wounds for everyone. Jou had told me only a portion of the other me's despair, but I had to see it for myself.

"The mountains the train took you through," I say. "They were beautiful."

His eyes widen.

"I also think that you should have smiled more. I saw plenty of things to have been happy about."

He looks like he is at a loss for words. "What? That's it?"

I nod.

"You're not angry at me?"

"I'm here aren't I?" I say. "All I'm saying is that…"

I suddenly wasn't able to continue. Anything I could say would come out corny. I could have just finished with a simple 'I love you,' or at least allude to the fact that I loved him throughout everything. I simply sat in silence. Why did I even bring it up?

He is suddenly on me, kissing me fiercely. Somehow, our kisses are tangible in this form. He doesn't let me go for a long while, which is fine, until I feel our kiss take a turn and my urges emerging from deep within.

When we pull back, I gasp. "Inside?" I say, indicating that we should retreat into one of our soul rooms. He nods.

I close my eyes and when I open them, I am in my room. I immediately stand and hurry across the hallway to his room. Upon opening the door, I am immediately taken aback. One's emotions and thoughts can oftentimes change the look of the room. His was an exact replica of what was going on in our hotel room. The darkened sky out the window is lit by lightning in its split-second increments. None of the lamps in the room are on. Only darkness and shadows adorned by the quick flashes. Thunder pierces the darkness.

He is on me in an instant. We've made love before, but somehow this time felt different. Sure, it happens our first time since my soul was retrieved, but even still. The romantic notion of the lightning enhances it. Perhaps even a good cliché can do one some good. His kisses are fierce as we land on the bed. I wiggle my way up to line my head up with the pillows.

He gasps for me to sit up. I oblige and we removed each other's shirts. Kisses last forever, as if our taste for each other in this was is insatiable. Once we are completely naked, we continue the assaulting kisses. Our bodies make contact in every way except where we are headed. I relish in each inch of bare skin of mine that touches him.

When he finally opens my legs, I am tempted to close them again to get back to the kissing and touching. As the lightning strikes again, I catch a glimpse of his eyes shining.

"Aibou-"

I shut him up with another kiss, and we are now making out with his cock at my entrance. Just one move and we're making love. For some reason, this is just as good in the moment.

Finally, he pushes inside me. I cry out and thunder follows. Lightning flashes as we begin to move. He grunts as I cry out again and again. My eyes are shut tight until I turn my head to look out the window. I open my eyes to take in the light show. Mou Hitori no Boku slows his movements and kisses my cheek. I take in the lights and absorb the moment. He does not stop.

When I finally turn to face him again, I begin to moan and call for him. My whimpers turn to screams when he switches from making love to fucking me. My hips are frantic as the sensation builds. More lightning flashes. Our voices rise. Oh my love… It feels so fucking good I can't contain my moans and cries. I climax ferociously as I feel him do the same, filling me. My orgasm grows as the eroticism of that satisfies me further.

We lay in bed for along time after, neither saying much. As cliché as it sounds, I think to myself that it is something I will hold onto for the rest of my life once he is no longer a part of it. It will come. But for right now, making love by the lightning shows me that there are some things in life shorter than our time together. Whether we see each other in the distant future or not, we have this one night.

My other self and I hold each other for hours and watch the storm drift off into the distance. Peace and contentment linger with the smell of sex. I've never felt better.

I'm trying to not allow a filter to tell me that what I'm writing is bad. Yes this was more drabbling on. I need to get my sea legs back in writing. This story is based on the story of a weekend I recently had. Strangely enough, our hotel room looked over one of those family fun centers with go-karts and stuff like that lol So uh, yeah. Hope you liked it.


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